At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
