And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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