dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
