I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
