Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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