capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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