awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
