Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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