He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
