someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
