Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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