Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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