The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
