They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
