i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
