I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
