I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
