Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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