nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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