I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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