this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Enjoy the penises
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
