im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
