D3 body, D1 cock
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I skipped work to stalk him.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
