big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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