why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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