I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
