Umm I'm too high to move.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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