last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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