I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
