Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
