Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
