Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
