The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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