Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize