I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
