I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
