So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
