Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
