VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
