my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
