Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
