Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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