yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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