Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
