Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
