yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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