I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
