I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
