My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
