No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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