I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
