I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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